Monday, January 31, 2005

Jay Sheer

Jay Sheer

Now for the most pathetic man on the Internet. From the Blog (copied and pasted, not my spelling):
"There are a lot of emotions that go along with a divorce. There is the quite regret of a relationship that fizzled out when it started with the dream of forever."
"You see...my soon to be ex had one serious flaw...she had absolutely no restraint when it came to money."
"Thank you for giving up on the marriage, Barbara. It was probably the nicest thing you have ever done for me."

So you married a gold-digger, she sucked you dry and then dumped you, but if you had just grown a pair you might have been able to rein in her spending habit, gotten the respect of your wife, and maybe saved your marriage. Sound right? Good, I'll continue then...so instead of actually doing something, you ate yourself into obesity and fretted about debts being paid from your meager income. "Nebbish", there's a word for you, Mr Sheer. E

Toast99 (again)

Toast99 (again)

Anyway, this is a different site by a guy I reviewed way back in last week.
Honestly, I don't quite know what to make of it. It freaked me out when I first came up on it, then I saw the teeth, then the eyes, it's a good thing I wasn't drunk. Why would anyone put this on the Internet? I'm serious, man. If she's so lovely, why are you hiding her? This looks like that Sigourney Weaver alien under a mosquito net. Just grinning at me. "Lovely" as compared to Evander Holyfield, maybe? Can't tell from this pic. Anyway there is nothing else here to rate. E

Yorkie Snowman

Yorkie Snowman

Some idiot on somebody's comments pointed out that I seem to bash women for the most part, that's because airhead women like to listen to their own vapid thoughts, and are more deluded and pretentious than airhead men, who just go to NASCAR events and hunt deer. Airhead women like to listen to themselves talk. Notably, however, most of the men I bash are British. Make of that what you will.

Here we go with another winner from the Queen's anus: This Blog will get a D+ because it really isn't much of anything except boring. It's a Blog about the fucking weather. He takes shallow pictures of boring things and puts them on the Web for us to see, thanks, boring-ass Yorkie dude! We need you! None of us have digital cameras, we rely on you to show us what we can see for ourselves! D+

Oh, and WT girl, thanks for misquoting me to make yourself look better. Maybe you'll change it now, or maybe not. I win either way.

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Chelle-Belle

Chelle-Belle

Hold on, I'm thinking of a way to call this woman white-trash while being politically correct. I'll come up with something in a minute.
I'll give a certain amount of credit for her template being well thought out, organized. She helpfully links to a bunch of Blogs that I already hate, just looking at their titles. The things you like reading are a reflection of your own personality. Of course, it is all excessive, it's how they are. I'm guessing she came from a poor, probably rural background, the affectations in her writing, the picture of their new car, it all says, "Shee-it! I got me some money!" Note all the references to money, buying, things bought, and the lack of anything thought...low-grade human being all the way, baby. E

easyasfallingoffablog

easyasfallingoffablog

"Ok I am absolutely stuffed of delectible Thai food. Heaven!"
How can I describe the delight I felt when I first found this Blog, and that first line in particular? I will take it easy on this female because I am certain that she has some kind of mental defect. That line is straight out of The Simpsons, that little fat kid who says,"I'm full of chocolate!" She even looks like the fat kid! I'm telling you, there's something about this Blog that is just creepily easy, it's like beating up a morbidly obese person. You get a C for amusing me. C

Froggie's-Lilypad

Froggie's-Lilypad

"My candy girl
My cats are truly evil. Truly."
Truly? Do tell!
"So, today, I sort of left this jar of honey on the counter. Chloe - seeing this jar on the counter - decides that it's threatening her and she's gotta go kill it.
Except it's a jar of honey.
Made of glass."
Oh my! Isn't that...something! You will have many cats before you die, maybe as many as 60 at the same time, crammed into your little apartment. I could tell that you were a stereotypical cat-owner just looking at your title-banner. You also own many stuffed animals. You probably read romance novels too. Why exactly do you think the Internet needs you? What do you have to say? I don't know if you are married, but you ARE unmarriageable. I wish I could bother reading/quoting more of your tripe. You Blog is banal and so are you. Have a nice day! :-) D-

Fashionable Chaos

Fashionable Chaos

Somebody thinks they are clever. Somebody sees herself as The Witty Internet Columnist. You know what? Housewives (I'm assuming this is one), not all of them, just the stupid ones, tend to get separated from the real world a bit. They don't understand how people are, or how real life works and they get delusions about their own talent, their own ability to understand things. They read Dean Koontz and think that they can write, they watch TV news and think that they have opinions that other people would not summarily dismiss. They read a few books to their idiot children and think, oh, I could write one of these. Editors' slushpiles are full of the words of deluded, naive, numbskulls like you.
Pink templates are a direct indicator of intelligence/imagination/originality, and this grade is my opinion of the person you are and will be for the rest of your life. D-

Lewis E. Moten III

Lewis E. Moten III

Here we go, a pretty good Blog after the shitpile I've had to wade through for the last couple of days. If your personal life isn't remotely interesting, don't Blog it, if your opinions aren't insightful, don't Blog them, if the shit you've dug up on the Internet is pointless, keep it to yourself. In other words if you have nothing to say and your brain is a wasteland shut up. This guy apparently knows all that, "apparently", I say, because humanity never fails to disappoint me. We will see. The template is good, and the posts fail to offend me. Yes, Hedberg is cool. B

Wendi's Wacky World

Wendi's Wacky World

Only my respect for the USMC keeps me from giving this Blog what it deserves. Your husband has my pity, lady, in addition to that respect.

Who am I?

Find out who I am, really. I mean it.

Jute's Law #1

Jute's Law #1: Morons think everybody else is as dumb as they are. There is a reason for this, think the story of the blind men and the elephant, your perception of the things and the people around you is limited to the insight you possess. Being fools, the people who have a problem with my assessment of them, lack the ability to see themselves for the boring, empty-headed, soulless little shits they really are.

Matt Thorne

Matt Thorne, Matt Thorne, Matt Thorne. Try to think, I realize that any kind of rational, objective thought is beyond your ability, but I'm saying it anyway: There is irony in the fact that you cannot spell, and yet mock a man for the imperfections in his speech. Irony, do you know what that is? Look it up. Clearly, there are intellectual liberals who can make lucid, thoughtful arguments against President Bush, you are not one of them. You do not deserve to have your name mentioned in the same paragraph as the words "lucid" and "thoughtful", but I'm paying you a compliment, just because I'm a nice guy and feeling like it. You, Matt Thorne, are just an ordinary person taking advantage of free publishing, you have no insight. None. Corrected Spelling, Sorry if I wasn't paying enough attention, folks, one of your mothers was choking on my dick, I had to let her up.

Saturday, January 29, 2005

Toast99

Toast99

From the Blog:
"I have not blogged for a while but will do more regularly now. My wife Anna is now living with me, and now I have grabbed a template that I am happy with I will play around with it to make it more my own......later all'"

Looking at your wife, I think that she is a very smart, very ambitious woman. Also, lucky to find someone dumb and desperate enough to provide her with a free ticket to the 1st world. To think, all she had to do was chat and webcam for a little bit. I'm beginning to wonder if you could, in fact, be the abject moron the content on this site would imply. It's one thing to be a sucker for the oldest Internet scam, it's entirely another to actually tell people and to post your wife's pic. You are joking, right? This is just some kind of clever prank...right? Also, your site is pink, which means you should be shot and your body impaled on a stake in my front yard for the crows to feast on, good night. E-

Me

Who am I?

Hoarded Ordinaries

Hoarded Ordinaries

Everything about this woman's appearance and choice of Blogging subjects says "teacher". Not your creative, inspiring kind of teacher, not the teacher who pushes students to do better, to achieve. But the can't-hack-it-in-the-real-world, those-who-can't-teach kind of teacher. The kind who makes a point in trying break students who have more smarts and talent than she will ever have, even with a thousand seminars and certificates. Ok, maybe I'm reading too much into the tedious words of this drab little woman. But it's fun, so I'll continue! She looks like the kind of woman who is just totally dead in the sack, no affection, no life. Which may or may not be true, I don't want to know, but the Blog IS mindless, pretentious, with the low-grade, unambitious pretension of the second-rate mind. Nothing even remotely adventurous here, no imagination, no feeling. Hoarded ordinaries refers, I think, to the ideas in her head. -D

Grrl-Interrupted

Grrl-Interrupted

Some chick has a pink theme on her site! How awesomely original! How imaginative this Blogger must be!

Is there anything that says boring, chatty airhead quite like being a fan of quilting/shopping? You can just hear the incessant yapping when you look at this website. I'll bet this one likes The OC, and word-puzzles, and spends a lot of effort trying not to think about what she sees in the mirror every morning. The trivial mind in females is represented most clearly in people who like unintellectual methodical activities and stupid, pretty things, I think it has to do with some kind of therapy, repetitive crap soothes people prone to hysteria, I imagine. Stupid women are always prone to hysteria.

She curses on this Blog and I'll bet she doesn't in real life, but who cares? D

My UFO

My UFO

How can you be harsh to a Blog with a picture of a 2-headed lamb on it? C+

Rantings of a Blue Guy in a Red State

Rantings of a Blue Guy in a Red State

When I started this Blog I figured the start thing to do was to avoid politics period, because then, I would actually have to read people's and stuff, but the dumbasses always come through. Here's another Bush-is-bad Blog to bail me out...
"I barely know where to start. Sometimes I think President Bush is a malfunctioning robot spewing gibberish out of his mouth. He's a ventrilliquist's dummy who has come to life and talks, but uses all the wrong words."
and when you spell you use all the wrong letters, imbecile. So what? You could look up Bush's words and not your own? You put pretty much anyone's English under a microscope and it will suck, but I don't have to tell you that. You've been watching too much Disney.
Proof that the vast majority of people in BOTH parties simpletons.
Of course, he'll change it now to deny me my amusement, but maybe he won't know which word was misspelled and have to look them all up... -D

Friday, January 28, 2005

Laane's Blog

Laane's Blog

This woman uses dolls generated at some site on the Internet that I won't link to. Lame, lame, lame, but not the lamest I've seen (sigh). I have now surfed maybe 50 sites in a row that are too mediocre to bash completely, or good enough that I am beginning to be bored by okayness. Have the lesser minds stopped posting?

Anyway, from this site:"My health is crap, which is a pity, because I always overflow with ideas." A pity to whom? And what ideas? Your Blog is a journal of your boring-ass life. Ideas like the GIF of flowers you gave yourself on your birthday? If I resort to giving myself GIFs of flowers then maybe I will be the loser you all say I am. Ok, I was wrong, the lesser minds haven't stopped posting.

Teenpulp

Teenpulp

Last 2 posts involved a breastpump and a vibrator. B






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Emetophobics

Emetophobics

I find nothing even remotely interesting about the content of this Blog, but it is good looking (Yay for modblog!). It's the Blog of a emetophobic woman, meaning she's afraid of vomiting. I'm not going to say anything bad, gimps get a free pass today. Except for the intellectual cripples, those I piss on as usual. B (For the template).

Coolest template ever

http://theslickguy.blogspot.com

Blog By Knight

Blog By Knight

A girlie Blog that's not pink! A girlie Blog with a link to Pirillo! A girlie Blog with a link to Will Wheaton!!!! I like this one. Nothing too interesting on the FP today but she's been witty in the past. Not too bad looking either, kind of MILFish. Template not special but not obnoxious either. I'm bookmarking. B

Traffic Pods

Another traffic exchange

Blogazoo

New Blog traffic exchange

The BlogBlog.com

The BlogBlog.com

What we have here is a Blog that claims to be a Blog on Blogs, but is really a Blog on Blogging. There is a big difference. One is probably going to be boring, one is definitely going to be boring. This Blog is number two. It isn't technical enough to be helpful, and doesn't have any news that I couldn't have found myself had I been hard up enough to search "Blogging" at news.google.com. I'm even boring myself talking about it. -D

Tony Francis

Tony Francis

Wow! Somebody f*cked up their Blogger template bad! From today's post:
"Do you ever stop and think 'why am I here?', not here at this Blog, but here in this life, on this planet.
I have been asking myself this question a lot of late. Once this question has been offered up to the conscious mind, it presents other questions,
such as:-
Does my life impact the lives of those who know me?" Blahblahblah.
He's not only a great web-designer, he's deep too! Note the firstwriter.com buttons at the top of the page. Fancies himself a writer, I bet. Middle-aged housewife writer-hobbyists come in both sexes, folks. Something tells me that this is the kind of man that keeps stuffed toys on his bed. One of the side-effects of Stephen King's success is that everybody who has ever read him thinks they can write. Yes, your ego is over-inflated, but you don't really believe it. -D






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Thursday, January 27, 2005

Magickal Musings

Magickal Musings

Part of blogging is the desire that people want to hear what you have to say. Usually they don't, usually what they want is a reciprocal link, BUT, if they see something they like, they just might stick around and read a post or two. Anyway, you never assume that anybody is interested in your life, if you have time to Blog, 9 times out of 10, you life is f*cking boring. As is this Livejournal style self-indulgent puke. If you want to journal keep it to yourself until you actually see something interesting or you have actual insight. Cartoony graphics are starting to bore me. The post on 1/27/05 is titled "Crack Kills" and it's about somebody's buttcrack. Haha. -D

Busymom.net

Busymom.net<
This site seems to be written by a busy mom. Think of all the interesting women in history, Lucrezia Borgia, Marie Curie, Jane Goodall, how many of them Blogged about being a mom? Yes, that's right. Not one. Mom's are nice, but unless they're our moms, or unless they're going to kill their kids (and Blog about it), most of us are not interested*. Of course other mom's might find this crap interesting, good for them. Cute template. I hate cute templates. D


*unless you're a MILF and posting pics.

Life's Rich Tapestry

Life's Rich Tapestry

Here we go, another good one. Someone posting about the boring crap they go through in a day, but somehow I don't want to slap her. On her Blog is this: Reading:
My Side by David Beckham - To my shame!

Yes, that is to your shame, but at least you know it! Yay for you! She kind of spoils it by having posted a Glasbergen cartoon. Glasbergen should be sodomized with a brick for being as unfunny as he is. Her whole Blog is entertaining enough, though, that I almost smiled at a few of the posts. That's saying a lot. B+

Sleeping With Winona Ryder

Sleeping with Winona Ryder

Okay, this is the kind of thing that happens when your friends don't know you Blog, and therefore don't mock you for the crap you post. That is assuming you're one of the fortunate few Bloggers who have an actual friend. This young man has made a Blog for a thieving drug-addled c*nt and in which he rambles on about nothing you care to read on the most overused Blogger template. Yes, so do I, but my posts are mostly short. Oh, and he can't write either, but he thinks he can. E

Get Yourself a girlfriend

Noumenal.net

Noumenal.net

If you can get past the bondage porn-site template, this one isn't too bad. There is nothing overly interesting here, but it's not someone pretending to be smart or being smug (like me), it's simple, straightforward, and unpretentious, more along the lines of how Blogging should be. B-

Uptown Girl

Uptown Girl

Nice Template but this is exactly the kind of Blog that makes Blogging look bad, and makes me hate people. The thing about banal people is that they don't know they're banal. I'm sure that the writer here is a perfectly nice person, and thinks that she is thoughtful at the least. Pretty much everything she says is from the same pool of hackneyed thought that 90% of young, white middle-class American women draw from. Nothing new, nothing original, nothing special. Her sense of humor is of the slight and witless variety possessed by people who cc chain-emails and lists of trivia to people they barely know. In her post from 1/24/05 she says: "Some things make me giggle" there follows a BC cartoon with the caption: 'Never deal with a broker whose hold music is the theme from "Jaws". Her comment:"Now that's good advice". Hilarious. D-






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